042 Gene Simmons

[42] GENE SIMMONS
TONGUE KISS-ER

Dude, put the makeup back on! Seldom has a man whose sole raison d’être seems to be seducing the opposite sex been so profoundly unsexy. The towering arrogance. The creepy lasciviousness of that serpentine tongue. The long-standing rumors that he wears a wig. The Gene Simmons reality show, the Gene Simmons magazine, the claims that he has bedded 4800 women, and the accompanying lie-detector test. And if you think any of that is gross, don’t even bother googling “Gene Simmons face-lift.”